Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in leonhearts280's LiveJournal:

Sunday, February 10th, 2008
10:06 pm	holy crap lol... holy crap.. my last entery is like 98 weeks agao?!!? thats like... almost forever... phss... any how.. lately i have realize that i have not been useing my days correcly... i feel..... empty, lonely, lefted out... etc.. i dunno y... i though it was just a normal thing as u move on in life.. but NO.. thats not the case.. i realze that i have not been growing up nore moveing fward in life.. i have been stuck in one place one time n have never advance from that point on.. i need... to move... i must not stop.. i...am... lonely.... any how.. i have realize how to chance these things but i need help from my self... and maybe from some pplz.. first off i need to like.. go back to school.. get my life running agan..@ where i lefted it... then is to lose some weight.. so i ll have more NRG to go n do stuff... then is that i need to pick up a use full hoby... or skill so i can freaken... b proud of... >.<... so pplz out there whom ever is reading this.. help me.. remind me... poke me... shove me... so i can move.. so i can forget about this current life... i need some body... i am despret for help.... (Comment on this)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
8:21 pm	yesterday's bleh..ing.. n b**ching... this is wat i have been doing for the last few days... i went to work during saturday.. it was not a ez day.. so may pplz walks in for stuff.. so we end up have to rush all things for the shipping part.. its as worst as monday.. any wayz thats it for saturday.. today i woke up around 4 almost 5pm in the afternoon.. cuz i stayed up till 5am.. ( yea very smart of me).. woke up got bored.. called pplz so i can give them the money i owe.. but no one picked up so.. i was like crap.. went to the "cool place" to get some thing to drink.. (tho i dont really want to go there since i work around there.. like a few buildings away..) .. then went to orbits.. to chill.. n gone see if the azn manga place have ne thing new ( tho i m not suppose to spend money at all.. ) then i went to this manga place i use to say to read manga for a few hours.. ( tho its only $2 per hour) stayed for around 1 - 1 1/2 hours.. went home finding pplz all pmsing tho they went to the mountants to snow board.. ( i was not invited cuz they think i m astryaing from the group) .. the truth is that i did not even know they r going till like when they r gearing up for the trip.. ( i was like great.. u guys sux).. *sigh*.. enough of that.. currently i feel very depriess n empty.. right now my thoughts is like "life do sux dose it.. i have no one that i hold dear of.. or rather i dont want any one that i can hold dear of.. i just dont know any more.. wat is this thing call "love"? is it that when u r sooo dam obsist to this person n u want to be w/ her at all cost.. thats call love?.. if so.. ( i truely dought it) i like every one ( mainly girls ofcorse) but.. i guess i just dont have wat it takes to b w/ one.. cuz when i did try all of them ether brush me off or blow me away or even call me some stupid names that have deeper meaning then i though it would b.. the one i hered most often is "you dork".. is this a sigh? saying that "go away i m not intrested in you" or its more of like "eww.. u dam horn dog".. will sory if i appeared like that, i cant help it that i look low lifed.. (fat).. when pplz looking for this thing call "personality" i think it ment that of a person's habit, intrest, goal... or wat so ever.. but almost all the time i dont see any thing in my self.. its like i dont have any thing intresting to show off or talk about.. (tho showing off is a bit to the stupid n childish side).. but i do know one thing.. that i m just a ordinary person w/ nuthing wat so ever that any one can b intrested in.. cuz i m a big lier.. when i say that i ll bring pplz to go range shooting w/ me.. at the time i really did ment it.. but due to the "situation" i m haveing nuthing would b done.. and this quote i say all the time when pplz ask me "do u have a gf b4" n i would answer "yes one or two" the truth is i never have one.. i m not "affection" enough to get one.. i tryed a few times.. but i m thos type that tries onece or twice if failed i would give up.. yes i m the worst type of person that walks on the face of this dirt ball.. and when i say this to show off to others that "i have over 200 rejection" heh.. the truth is that i only have 2 rejections ( now think of it it was a worst thing to say.. tho it was use to cheer pplz up.. or i m just fooling my self n make others think bad of me) .. some times i do wander.. y is it that i fall for some of my friends.. tho i know the fact that i CANT b the one to go out w/ any one of them.. cuz i CANT b a match to any one.. i m too unique ( ugly ).. i m not a great person that pplz would thought or say i m one.. i m just too ugly.. ( or rather u can say that i m very ill mined ).. when pplz say i m nice or am a good person, just bcuz i helped them? the truth is i have objectives when i do stuff.. wat kind of objective u might ask?.. the thing is that even I my self cant find a dam word to describe that.. cuz i m too dam ill mined.. now things is very clear since........ i m lower then low....... lowerer then just very low.. i m the worst thing any one would want to met.. i feel i m just nuthing.. just a empty "thing"... i feel that i m not allowed to "love" ( tho i dont want that to b true) i feel i m not capable to "understand others"..... y is it like that?.... i know i m stupid.. i know i dont worth any thing.. i m just a living flesh w/o a soul.. w/ minor emotions.. "self asteam"... the f*** is that.. just thing that could been say to lower my self value?.. wat value? i m just a thing.. i m no longer a person.. but a lowly animal....... the truth is that i hate my self.. i hate every thing about my self.. y cant i have more curage... more self asteam.... y do i lower my self? y is it that i m not adtractive enough... ( i guess mainly that i m stupid.. ).. why............... *sob* Current Mood: drunk (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
6:28 pm	bleh bleh bleh... yea... ...... ..... *spaceing out*....... ::sigh::.. nuthing much.. happened or so-so... all this time i have been doing is... spaceing out for over 2 n a half weeks... (cuz dad is being such a pain up the @$$, so he dose not want me to work w/ em n more).. so i finally got a job.. (rather very quickly also.. called in to ask if they r hireing then new boss answered very quickly saying for me to start the next day, n i was like omfgbbq great!)... yea for thos (mostly all of u pplz out there).. who dont know.. i m working at "game star" (yes a game store).. n the reason for this job.. (tho i know i m not ganna b able to live very nicely for a wile..( roughtly 2-4 years).. cuz parents (mainly dad).. asked (more like demanded) for me to move on w/ life (means to get the fwak out of "his" house)... n earn a living of my own.. (since he dose not beleve that i know how hard is to make money).. so yea yea.. i m in the middle of looking for a place to live..(hopefully soon, the day they want me out of the house is b4 end of "April")... yea so far my plan is to lay low (means not to spend money as much, tho its kinda hard).. ask a fob-ish friend of mine if he can take me in (ofcorse i ll pay rent, n i hered its cheep $300 ish?) ... then just deal w/ life for a long wile.. or i can ask my aunt to take me in n i ll pay rent (mostlikely they wont take my rent money but this is last resort i ll take to b out)... *continueing w/ the planning thing* then after things r like bit stable i ll move agan.. (closer to work place so i can save gass money for the car).. then, eventurally take over the entire appartment complex.. then i ll manage it from there.. (tho i m thinking toooooo dam far ahead but its okay) .... i guess most of u pplz out there think i m very stupid to give up on education.. but i cant help it due to the situation.. so i m kinda envy of u pplz out there who still have a chance... (tho i do too but for a JC student to transpher out i need to b a full time student (wich it need money n time) for a person whos liveing along out side n need to pay rent is another story.. (if i was a cal state student) that ll b a different story.. (cuz i wont have to wory about rent n such.. cuz its all payed for).. so bleh.... right now.. for the things thats ganna happen in the future.. (like events).. AX.. E3... etc.. AX for me to attend all 4 days is kinda immpassiable now..i probley can attend max of 3 days.. since ax this year landed on a sat, sun, mon, n a tue... i can go on sat, sundays... but monday would b a tought call (cuz sat is obtional for me to work, mondays...... its the most hedic day of the week at work.. so idk.. ) .. as for E3?..... mostlikey i ll go there just to work.. or stay at the shop all day long.. any ways all i have done so far is biTching n coMplaIning.. (the fact is that this dose not really matter to most of u pplz out there (or so i though).. my life sux? or i should took this as a great apertunaty to grow up.. ) either way its a sad yet good-okay ish thing happening atm.. during this few days i ll probly blog all the time.. till almost end of april.. cuz i wont have internet for .... lets just say a longggggg wile.. okay finally for a all out catch up for wat i have not blog for a wile.. eh.. nuthing much happen.. just that the store got the new game FF12, limited FF12 dezine PS2, n FF12 wirless controller/ memory card made by logitech... b4 the pplz in Japan wake up n start selling them ( we bet them by 5h? ) lol.. then i was getting use to the work they given me.. all i do is look up invoice for the item, grab n bag the item.. type up info of the invoice n print postits for UPS n such.. take the packages n drop em off at the post office... then get back to store.. prepack items.. cleaning store front, file invoice papers... thats my work so far.. eventually i ll do more.. so they say.. >.>'' hopefully i get better soon.. that means customer service, net servey thing.. n others.... n for all thos gamers the new PS3 is ganna b release world wide at november.. (no dua.. most pplz know this already i guess).. haha.. *NOTE: this is for some one that i owe to, i m sory that i have not pay off my dept yet.. i ll start paying back soon (slowly) due to my situation right now.. (credit card depts, living expens) right now my life is not stable yet.. but i very sory that i did not do a thing yet plz give me some more time? *kneel on floor begging* anyhow.. yesterday.. i think i have done some thing that i should have not done.. i skiped work ( knew that i should not do so but i did it any wayz ) just to go all the way to SD for some car show.. but it turns out fun.. metting all the modals n get to check out awsom cars.. (which i have no chance of getting a better car now) i have some pix n such to prove i have gone.. but.. theres no point atm.. reality just got me feelin bumed out.. bleh.. any how can some pplz get me other ppl's LJ names so i can add pplz?.. thx..! thats all for the update.. Current Mood: disappointed (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
10:23 pm	lalalala...hehe...n happy b day to whem every that i forgot about hehehe.. hehehe... yes i m in a very gigling mood... heh... n happy b day to that dumb girl whom i forgot cuz i though this month is still october... insted of november.. heh stupid me.. n.. wat ealse is there to talk about?.. o yea i m back working w/ my parents agan.. cuz life sux.. n i need money.. n its ez to destory things n remake them.. heh.. hmmm wat ealse?.. i guess nuthing much.. i ll just say.. HAPPY B DAY... (to thos kn wat am i talking about.. yes i am that meen.. heh.. cuz i did my part of the things thx to some other girl that help me out w/ the good deed i done.. heh).. (if u ask wats the good deed go ask her if u kn her.. heh..) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 30th, 2005
9:45 pm	just for the record...... yea like i say just for the record... some how i get to update agan n that dose not mean that i ll update all the time due to limited internet... n etc.. o yea for thos that kns how to add pplz in LJ plz tell me or send me an e-mail.. or give me ur screen so i can add.. lol... today i have done totaly nuthing.. so yea.. besides reading manga.. n eat pho.. n games... n gone to anut's to get luggage for gandparents.. so yea basicly nuthing happen.. to naty.. sory bout that i was not able to get out n hang.. since.. i m bacily liveing in a cave.. since i m kinda cut off totaly from the world of information.. (no net no cell)... so sory bout that.. i think some one told me theres ganna b a hang out time.. but i forgot when n wat time.. sory.. to da dumb girl (daph).. yes i got ur mail.. its like barly illegible.. j/p.. hope mine is illegible.. (most likly not)... lol.. yea i kn ur very like.. packed on the scedual things that u planned.. less mail? i understand.. but get ready to b bombared w/ my evil mails.. BWahahaha.. i ll update agan.. soon... heh.. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 28th, 2005
8:47 pm	update smatdates... gahh... bleh... i typed my update like a few freken mins agano now its like all lost n i have to like god dam retype it on agan... dam stupid pop ups... dam u all!!!!!! bleh... any wayz... n YES SORY FOR NOT BE ABLE TO GET ON LINE OFTEN ENOUGH... (quit complaining)... this is wat have happen to me since my last update... lol.. for a month worth.. n more... who kns when i ll get access to net agan.. lol.. dam my life.. - i ll b explaning the big mistory of the blank cds.. later... lol.. - got fried from work agan.. to thos who kn the story already.. drop it.. thos dont?.. i ll explane how.. its a god dam long story.. - not able to contact pplz? yea long story.. - not able to get on line?.. gay story..i hate it.. - n hows pplz these days... from my POV (point of view)... yes dumb girl... thos cds have to b blank cuz i m soooo goooodddd dammmmm laaazyyy... n its red.. all i ahve is a dam red marker.. lol... ( i m not so sure if it works at all since i found out like wat ever i send u alreay... that the cd is made for music file... soo not my falt if it dont work...) heres the dam story tha thow i got fried from my last work:.. the last work place i work at is called "Cha For Tea".. its a not bad of a place but yea... any wayz.. the store was the old "Tea Station" thing magier.. its right across of the new movie place.. yea main & garfield.... okay this is how it goes... i finally got to work on shift.. n the last thing i have to remember on the training this is that the company of the tea place will send some of the top bosses down.. to test u out.. so yea.. this is how i start up.. i have happen to be the server.. takeing the orders... but i missed that up n give him a wrong order... i was like fwaked... then i fnally got the order rite.. the boss guy.. order some hot beef noodle soup.... then i was like getting the order to the boss guy.. (*note i did not kn he was the boss guy yet not until i fwaked up all the way).. then theres this customer on the right side of my blind spot.. (who have his fat lage out in the walk way).. i trped on some one.. then the last think i knew.. the bow was like on that guy's head... so the manager told me that was his boss's boss.. i m like omfgwtfbbq... so basicly manager saved me by fireing me on the spot.. or ealse i would have ben sue.. will my pay go bye bye.. cuz the boss's shert was worth like almost all my 2 week worth of pay check... dam that gay guy who stuck his foot out.. :-;... then its the phone thing that pplz like wtf about.. my phone is not working cuz i m out of mints.. since it money to refil mins.. like 40 cent a call.. i was like wtf.. n yea when u hered i say "pay phone" this is wat i ment.. bleh... i ll post agan.. when i m changing to another number.. internet problem? yes parents got pissed off at me for leaving the comp on 24/7... so they like get a line cutter to cut my net line... so thats y i dont have ne freaken net time for a wile.. since the cost to get the line repair is like $50... the tool it self is $30 then other parts is like dam $20 ish.. so i m like no net for me for a wile.. the onily time i can get on is when i m over at my cuzn's place.. wich its not very often.. heres my point of pplz latly sine the time when i last saw them all... Naty: taller, darker... buffer... (no crap.) thats all i have to say.. Linda (aka naty's lover) : ah... nuthing change that much.. just that she's more crazy thats all.. Ray (aka mama ray): yes ray.. all i can say is bird nest..n very white...(no offance) Lena: same old same old lena... just that she got more wat u call that? womenlyer..(is that even a word?) Jeff (aka jeff kitty):.. spaced out in his own lil love world w/ his lover (no offence just a fact) Marissa (sory if i spell it wrong): spaceing out w/ her lover also! (like wise no offence) Tiff: same old same old?.. just that.. its nuthing.. lol.. Christine (also sory if i spell it wrong):.. looks like a hard core fation person n party person... Silv: les just say.. she changed alot.. i think its due to the work.. she have more style now.. i ll just leave it in that.. word.. n many others: same old same old?... idk about the dumb girl.. since some one looks n sounds like they forgot to get their daly happy pillz.. any wayz thats all for my goood dammmmmm month worth of updates... BWAHAHAH... cya soon agan.. P.S: some pplz told me that they cant see my updates.. n idk y.. some one plz tell me?..lol... n laters.. happy hallow ween?..lol.. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 22nd, 2005
9:36 pm	blah blah blah... ... have not been updating alot.... due... to net lag.. yea.. lag.. haha.. any wayz.. after i got layed off from work.. i m on the quest to get another one.. (been 2 weeks aready still now luk) :;sigh::.. any how.. last firday.. me n the gang went to six flag to have fun.. tho its more of hell then fun i would say like that.. later that night we went eating at garden cafe (starveing) n yea by the time i get there i found out that silv is a crazy driver... fraken arrived there b4 i did n was like there for more then 5min? i m like wtf? (tho she did get a min or 2 head start).. but.. 5min!?!?! gahhh!!.. n the next day.. my car broke down.. due to some lose crews.. but i got it fix... then during sunday... i was maninceing my car... since.. it kinda died on me saterday.. bleh. monday.. thats 2day... eh... was ganna go pcc to finish up stuff.. but...bleh.. went to AHS to hang out... (was the worst idea ever).. then gone to cuzen's house to play .hack then get home installed RO (yes i m ganna play ro agan)... n after that getting foreced to fix my LJ thing by that dumb girl... (tho shes not dumb just very enoying..) XD.. n i m where i m at rite now typeing this update.. haha.. ne wayz i ll go now.. haha.. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
11:38 am	.................... ..... i just got a call from my work place... they say that they just been robed... n so on that.. they cant affored me to work for them any more... ... i guess i have to start my jurny to look for another job agan... ;-;... job less sux... :;sigh::.. i ll update agan.. soon... dam...XD Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
11:12 pm	lala... yay work starts 2morrow... ^^ .... yea.. this is my day.. work up.. rush to catch up w/ appointment time... yea for togos/baskin robins... it turns out that the boss says that my appointment time was like 1pm? i m like wtf? u said fraken 2pm n the afternoon... gahh... the thing that piss me off even more is that "i ll call u agan"...wtf.. i waited for u to god dam call me for like a week?.. n it turns out U said its 1pm? crap no.. u said fraken 2pm... bahh.. ne wayz.. forget him... so i called up the other job i think i had n ask if i was hired.. n such.. the person on the phone told me to come in tomrorw.. i m like cool.. so i guess i have a job.. lol.. any wayz.. continueing w/ my day.. yea then i went to the manga place agan to finish off checky angel.. (sory if i spell it wrong).. then i went home to pick up my azn friend's ps1 went to pick up the kids to fraken swim class then jet my way to sandor's new home to check it out.. n its nice.. tho a bit small but its nice.. then we went to marukai cuz jeff was not home.. bought some stuff to eat.. pick up my car.. jet to azn friend's house to chill n talk.. then fainlly i got home n sitting n front of this screen.. lol.. ne wayz i ll update agan soon.. bout work.. lol.. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Monday, August 1st, 2005
9:43 pm	fooling around agan... last night on the way to my aunt's place to like check up on her since she just gone thought a surgery.. idk wat tho... any wayz.. on the way there i saw this manga store that always wanna to but just seems to b not on the way to stop... so i m like yea finally decided to like stop by to check it out... so i came to the conclusion.. that the manga store is HEVEN!!! for chinese readers only!... lol.. its like a rental store.. but u can like stay there all day till they close.. to just read it.. they even got like.. game systems set up just bring ur own memory card or games then u can play there.. lol.. any wayz.. i just drop by like not too long agao.. reading "cheeky angel" in chinese.. 5 more books then i m done w/ the series.. funny yet cutecy story.. o yea.. about last night.. i got like.......... a phone call from the ray's boss (offical now) at togos/baskin robins.. to show up like at tuesday 2pm?... for training i think... ;-;.. i have to wast 3h for the training n take a test.. if i failed i dont get the work.. but.. i think i am already hired by the storage place... i just need to call back (cuz they told me that they call me after a week) to see if they r really hireing me.. if not all wellz.. then i better pray that i pass the traning test.. XD.. ne wayz i ll update some more 2morrow i hope.. XD Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
7:06 pm	job found!! yay!! yea like the title says i think i got this invatory job.. all i do is scann pix of the item or take a pix of if n enter it into the data base n uplode some of it to the ebay site.. lol.. then is invatory organization, look up invoices to put the items that the customers wants into a box.. w/ the invoice.. then shipp them out.. n my starting pay is $7.50... thats for the first week i think then it ll go up to like $8?.. will its better then nuthing.. yea u kn who i m talking about!!.. lol.. j/p.. tho i dont start till end if this week.. thats weird huh?.. any how... i m still lil pissed off bout my dam parents.. being so anual about that me at home.. yea this morning the first thing i hered from them is "get up! go find a job".." i m like wtf? i though i did told u bout the job that i might get.. n the interview like i have today around 11am?... n rite now is like wat 7am? wtf u want me to do?.. so i m like screw... it... slep till... like.. 10am?... got up play some game i that i got from ray yesterday..any how... yea they r being just very anual.. or its just me...bleh.. any wayz i ll just like.. freken pretend or just continue to freaken look for another job just incase that this one dose not work out.. XDD... i ll keep up w/ the update!.. Current Mood: bouncy (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
3:47 am	reasont disovery! o.O'' any wayz its like 4am n the morning atm... i m browsing through some anime fourms.. n found some thing intresting... Gundam Seed Destiny voice actors/actress: Juichi Suwabe (Sting Oakley) Megumi Toyoguchi (Miriallia Haww) Akira Ishida (Athrun Zara) Kenichi Suzumura (Shinn Asuka) Maaya Sakamoto (Lunamaria Hawke) Rie Tanaka (Lacus Clyne / Meer Cambell) Soichiro Hoshi (Kira Yamato) Naomi Shindou (Cagalli Yula Atha) yea i never knew that Maaya Sakamoto is the voice actor for Lunamaria.. stupid me.. n yea who have the cd album call "see-saw" ? n the sone/album "wings of words" Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
5:08 pm	job less days sux.. will... yea as u can see.. i m still looking for a job.. n job is needed to survie n this god for sake world.. bleh.. any wayz.. heres my day.. work up around 12 noon? wtf rite?.. lol.. drop lil kids off to violen classes.. gone to pcc.. stand n line for like ages... (dam azns).. drive back.. to skoo to pick up kids.. drop them off at swim class (wich its located at some where ealse no da!).. now i m here just realize how stupid my self is.. i totaly forgot that to register for a FASTA pin # takes like 2-3 weeks? wtf? ::sigh::.. n i m like i guss i should just fell out the fourms n line up agan for another god for sake 2h? (dam azns n other races thats n line).. bleh.. will.. atleast one good thing is ganna happen 2morrow.. i m planning to go work at sandor's job place.. since like.. yea.. i dont wanna to work at mcdanals.. bad news is that i totaly forgot that my slacks is like... dead ( it got like different color spots ) so i guess i need to find some thing that look like slacks or go buy one early 2morrow.. since the appointment is like at 2pm? bleh!!! ... any how i ll just have to hope every thing turns out well.. i ll log more 2morrow.. tho its early n the day.. XD.. Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
8:53 pm	new account..n new things i wanna share.. yea as u can see i m not the type of person to do this very much.. tho i feel like it very much atm since that theres things i wanna share n things i wanna freken let the world kn.. so yea.. any wayz first things n business.. i lost my account the old one.. Goldfish_Scott (i think this is how it gose)o willz.. any how.. things i wanna share is that.. i am reallly piss off at my parents.. (yea u might think this is very childish will its kinda IS) 1. they dont let me work w/ them any more (tho i was okay w/ it) so wat i ll look for a job.. (not as ez as u think) so i was like down to my last few buks.. n i was like asking if they have a job for me.. (like a short one day thing) but NOOOOOOO!! ..... ::sigh::.... 2. each time i tryed to do some thing like acutally SOME things to help out.. it eithere turns out that MY parents freaken thought that it was my YOUNGER siblings did it ensted of ME... 3. i HATE the fact that my father alway trying to rub things IN MY F***ing FACE!! (ex: o when i was at ur age i have already accomplished this.. i kn how to fix cars, repair, do good food creation.. etc.. u get the pix)so yes each time he brings out this CRAP A** of a subject.. i alwayz feel like as if i m doing some thing wrong n wat ever i do i cant compare w/ HIM! ... n for some SH***Y reason he LIKES to come pare him self to me.. tho i m trying my best to do it correctly my self.. n not comparing w/ him n his glorious mission of RUBING STUFF N MY G** DA* FACE!!! Y dose all parents do that? or its just me? me n my freken luck being born into such family.. i HATE it, i HATE my self, i HATE EVERY THING ON THIS GOD FOR SAKE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now... all i feel like is clean my god da* room n hang some thing that i can bet on.. Current Mood: angry (Comment on this)